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"I still think you're getting a little ahead of yourself," I said,though it was already too late.Then with a shrug I looked around and tried to decide what I should donow. I thought about playing a little GEO, but I wasn't really in themood for that at the moment. I briefly considered going over to see ifMrs. Lawrence needed a hand with anything, but then remembered that itwas Sunday and she never took jobs on Sundays. As she'd once told me,the only cooking she'd do on Sunday was for her family or her church. Iwasn't sure how she stayed in business with that rule, but she seemedto be doing fine so I'd never asked.Since I couldn't think of anything else I was in the mood for toentertain myself, I went back to the lab and retrieved the devise I'dmade. I figured, I'd spent several hours working on it so I might aswell see what it could do. And as I played around with it, tossing itfrom one hand to another and even across the room, I got a better ideaof how it worked, or at least how. Whenever I see her in the mirror or a photo, I know she is me.And I am so glad, so very glad, I embraced myself by embracing her. Jennifer started out shy and timid – uncertain of herself and how others saw her. Not quite sure she was attractive or desirable. She began life with a pink and white wardrobe and long skirts which suggested virginal purity but did not truly reflect who she was.The first boyfriends and lovers helped end that phase. I still recall those who first flirted with me and treated me as a woman, even though they knew I was a special kind of gurl. The fact that I was different and exotic made me more attractive not less. That I worked harder at being pretty and feminine and sexy than most biological women made me even more so. Once I learned that, once I was held and kissed and admired as Jennifer, my confidence grew and I fully accepted what I wanted and who I was, and will be forever more.Being a gurl today is so much easier than it was when I started. .
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